| It's when I'm standing six feet away from you and not being able to find the words to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you that I want to just scream to the whole room that I'm still in love with you. Its when Im sitting alone with the phone in my hand dialing your number and hanging up that I would trade a thousand tomorrows for just one yesterday. Then I could just call you to tell you goodnight. It's when I am really sad about something and need someone to talk to that I realize you're the only one who really knew me at all. It's when I cry myself to sleep at night and it hits me how much I would give to hold you at that very moment. It's when I think about you that I realize no one else in the world is meant for me. |
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| question of the day - is it really better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all?
emily dickens says that saying goodbye is all that were ever going to know of heaven on earth - and all we ever need to experiance of hell.
You cant miss something you have never experianced. Its not hard to quit something your not addicted to. Theres no difficulty in not doing that in which you arent accustomed to doing. Its not hard to say good bye to someone you've never allowed yourself to fully love.
I once read that the amish are fully satisfied in being amish because they have never KNOWN anything else. They dont know what they are missing out on, so whats the sacrifice? There really isnt one.
Its when youve dived in that its hard to get out, and walk away soaking wet. Its when your strung out on heroin that you have to go to rehab. Its when youve had that high that you have to quit. Its when youve lived with air conditioning, and electricity, and cell phones, the internet, t.v., showers, cars, and all those comforts that its hard to live simply. because you know them, and how comfortable and easy they make your life.
The logical conclusion is that if you never love at all, you dont have to go through the hell of quitting. Of detoxing - thats a better word. Because when you consider detaching yourself from a person youve let become a part of you, theres no other word. You have come to need them. Its detoxing. And its not a quick or easy procsess. Your still gonna have that monkey on your back everyday for a very long time. Its gonna rip at you. Its gonna tear at you. Every song. Every movie. Every commercial. Every start of the day. Every cup of coffee. Every laugh. Every similiar eye color. Every similiar make and model of car that drives by. Its gonna rip at you, for months and months to come. And whose to say that when you finally detox, and heal, your not just going to start the process again with someone new. I mean if you were naive enough to do it once whats stopping you from doing it again?
That would be the LOGICAL conclusion.
But. If you never love at all, you sure as hell are losing a lot. Your losing a first meeting. Your missing the building of a friendship. Your not gonna have the realization of the depth of how you both feel. You dont get the first kiss of a relationship. You miss the car rides, the text messages, the suprises, the smiles, the fights you dont think your gonna recover from, the grand actions, the making up, the silence, the comfort, the inside jokes, the memories, the waiting, the long conversations, the first time they tell you they love you, the last time they tell you, the last kiss, the goodbye, the realization it cant work, the bittersweetness of not talking anymore
you lose a lot. either way. so you might as well go for it. Because you never no what tommorw might hold.
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| "KN0WiNG iS BETTER THEN W0NDERiNG, WALKiNG iS BETTER THEN
SLEEPiNG, & EVEN THE BiGGEST FAiLURE BEATS THE HELL OUT 0F NEVER
TRYiNG" |
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| you cant throw in the towel. You cant stop fighting. Even if the other person is willing to do all the fighting for you....you cant just rest on that fact. You have to be strong to. I have to be strong. I have to be willing to forgive and fight for this.
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| today was one of those days that makes being in love so completely worth it.
definately a high point.
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